Monday, March 06, 2006
I'm a Mom....Self Portrait
I always knew when I was younger that I wanted to be a mom when I grew up. My own Mom was such a great example. She always kept her cool, even with eight children. Every situation was manageable, could be fixed or worked through. Nothing was so major that the world was going to end. I am a very dramatic person, but I know that my mom's way of staying calm has rubbed off on me in a huge way. For some reason, I'm only dramatic when it comes to my emotions, not with dealing with life...just dealing with my feelings about life, if that makes any sense. Anyway, mom was fun. She was there. After school mom was there. Not with milk & cookies, but with an interest of how our day was & I believed that her interest was sincere & that she loved me. Because it was & she did. In high school there was a time when she'd pick me up from school. Just me. We'd have about 5 minutes until we got home, and we'd talk. I loved it. I talked to her like I would any of my friends at school. And mom laughed a lot (how could you not with 8 crazy kids). I love her laugh. She is still one of my favorite people to laugh with.
Anyway, I always wanted to be a mom...but it's still weird sometimes to think that I am a mom. I've been one for a while now, but still is a little weird. Maybe because I'm still the same person I was before I had my baby. Sure I've changed a lot & my life has changed a lot, but I'm still that girl that likes rock music & is in love with Dylan Todd. There's just a child that's been thrown in the mix now.
Things that have changed. Things that I do now. Things that make me happy. Happy to be a mom:
* my dishwasher is full of sippy cups
* little handprints everywhere
* change diapers
* wash my hands a million times a day
* drive a mini van
* cut food into little pieces
* toys in my bathtub
* never ending laundry
* I say words like "doggy" "horsie" & "poopy"
And with that, here is a self portrait I took the other day. Need to do this more. Read about a man that took a polaroid of himself every day for a year. He wanted to see himself age. See how his moods changed from day to day. Thought that it was a weird thing to do, but at the same time pretty dang cool. I need more photos of myself. I really have a difficult time being in front of the camera right now. I don't know why. I am very happy with myself right now. I guess I think that the photos don't really show that...Really I just need to relax & go with the flow.
This is me. 26 years old. Wife & mother. Happy to be me. Happy to be here in this apartment in Rexburg, Idaho with my husband & daughter...both of whom I think are super cool.
Posted by Candace at 7:21 AM