I was thinking a lot about the birth of Sadie these past few days. I know it is because Lilia had her baby on Thursday. (Ella is such a cutie by the way, excited to meet her) I'm not usually like this, but I think because she had a c-section, it's got me thinking about my hospital stay a few years ago. Thinking about all the bad stuff, the hard stuff, the stuff that scared me out of my mind. But I also remembered the special time it was for Dylan & I. Something we went through together.....just me & him. That will remain a piece of history that belongs to just me & him. I'm so thankful for him. He is an incredible husband & the love of my life.
I had a memory from that time in the hospital that I didn't want to forget again. The whole 4 days in the hospital, I had a really hard time moving around. Getting up out of bed took some time. When Dylan would go home to shower, I'd ask him to get Sadie for me & I'd just hold her. Just in case she cried, I didn't want to try to get up too fast. I'd lay her across my chest, with her little head on my shoulder. I'd just stare at her & enjoy the peace. Once a nurse came in to do whatever they do & she said to me, "you've been holding her for quite a while, do you want be to put her in her bed?" Of course I told her no. Just a really sweet, special moment.
Oh my goodness, I Love my family!!!! Am I missing out because I'm a stay at home mother? Absolutely not! This is the life I always wanted. There is more happiness within the four walls of our little apartment, than we could find anywhere out there in the world.
Dylan has said that he hates coming home to an empty house & if he knows Sadie & I won't be here, he'll go to the library or something to waste time. I thought that was really strange. Time alone can be really nice sometimes. Since becoming a mom, the times that I am completely alone are extremely rare. It's a hard thing to get used to.....but you do just that, get used to it. I think it's sweet that Dylan wants to be with us....even when we're loud & dramatic & annoying.
Thinking about all this...I need to be a little easier on my self. My husband & daughter love me....chubby tummy & all. Wardrobe void of any style & they love me just the same. Why do I worry about all that CRAP when I could use that energy to more fully live my life w/ my sweet baby & husband?