Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Diet Changes?

I woke up this morning not understanding why I felt so horrible. Then after going to the bathroom, I realized that I had started my period. Bummer. See it's been a few months since we've stopped trying to prevent a pregnancy & it's been about a year & a half since I miscarried. Yes. It's been that long. Had that baby survived, I would have a one year old right about now. Anyway, back to this morning...

I ended up back in my bed, still feeling tired, trying to get my head around this, trying to figure out how I should be feeling, trying to just ignore it all. I'm in pain. Dylan offers to bring me some ibuprofen. He brings me one of the big ones. A doctor prescribed one. The ones prescribed to me after my D&C. He mentions that it's the last one. Suddenly I'm aware of how long it's been again. I pray to Heavenly Father, asking him to just make me feel numb to the sadness. I don't want to feel the sadness. I wonder if I will ever experience having a baby again. I wonder if this is my life's plan. I wonder if I'm not supposed to have any more children. I think that I should have savored my last pregnancy & baby time more. I can't even remember what it's like to be pregnant. It feels like so long ago. Then I tell myself that I'm over reacting.

I get out of bed & greet the girls & get them ready for the day. Life goes on until I'm reminded again, maybe later today maybe tomorrow.


Last month I looked into fertility diets. I didn't buy any books, but I found this website that spelled it all out.

* Eat lots of organic vegetables & fruit
* Eat less or eliminate dairy products
* Reduce the amount of meat that you eat or only eat organic grass fed meat
* Only eat free range chicken
* Eat only grains in their whole, natural form
* Eat high fiber foods with each meal
* No soy of any form
* No refined sugars or fruit juices
* Drink lots of clean water

I'm not eating meat, so that's not a big deal. I cut out soy a few weeks back. Those parts are easy for me. I do love cheese so dairy can be a little tricky. The part where I know I'll especially struggle is the refined sugars. I love sugars & I have never turned down a cookie or a brownie.

I asked Dylan if he thought I could follow this diet & he immediately responded "no". It made me laugh. It's not that he doesn't have confidence in me. It's just that he knows me. I'm trying to decide if I should attempt a diet like this. Quite frankly, I think this is the ideal diet for health. I want to eat like this. I want to want to eat like this. I like the adjusted food pyramid over here. It makes more sense to me than our current food pyramid.

Anyway, what are your thoughts on a fertility diet? Do you think it makes sense? Can it help? And if so what are some yummy things to eat while on the diet?

40 comments:

Kat said...

I so understand your pain. I didn't get married until I was 38 and we have been tring since June 6th 2009. Next month will make a whole year and still no baby- not even close. I have this huge whole in my chest after my last doctor's visit when she asked me if I was "really ready" to have a baby at 39? I don't know about the diet but I understand the pain and I feel for you. Hugs and chocolate to you =)

Cheryl @ a pretty cool life. said...

It can't hurt...lots of fruit and veggies are never a bad thing! I just wish I could eat like that all the time! :)

I would question eliminating dairy, though, as women TTC are supposed to eat as if they are pregnant...I don't think many OBs would recommend cutting down on such a valuable source of calcium.

For what it's worth (not much-lol), my "fertility diet" involved no other changes than cutting out caffeine and alcohol.

Chris said...

Candace, I've been on both sides of this issue...getting pregnant when I wasn't ready, and then going through infertility and miscarriages. One of my favorite books on the topic can be found here:

http://books.google.com/books?id=2i5g41Lvb1sC&dq=taking+charge+of+your+fertility&printsec=frontcover&source=bn&hl=en&ei=kNLyS_NQg9CyA9vPodcB&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4&ved=0CDAQ6AEwAw#v=onepage&q&f=false"

My best friend who has PCOS swears by Noni Juice. That may be something to add to your diet, rather than taking away.

One thought on dairy, some fertility specialists ask hopeful moms to increase their dairy, especially fatty ones like ice cream as it helps the quality of the eggs. Just another perspective.

Claire Kiefer said...

Awwww, you'll get what you want! A few months isn't that long. Keep your spirits up!

wdmk said...

Get more folic acid into your diet either though pills or food. I did, doctor suggested after multiple miscarriages, and it worked. Good luck.

Melanie said...

My sister always ate really healthy, just plain healthy nothing special, but she was really hard-core about taking her temperature daily, monitoring her body, etc. to know her exact ovulation time. It increased the odds a bit in her favor, and she got pregnant. I also heard that folic acid (like wdmk said) is a good help.

Lia said...

A bummer of a day indeed. I recently visited my doctor for a check up and she recommended that I reduce my sugar and refined carb intake. I would say I eat pretty healthy except I too would not turn down a cookie. I read other bloggers who cut sugar out of their diet but that would be a major change for me. Achieving the ideal diet is more of a process for me and not something that will happen over night. The more healthy changes you make the better but remember no one is perfect.

Ash said...

were you using any prescription birth control before you started trying? Just wondering because if you used the depo shot it could take up to 18 months before you become fertile again.

I hope you get what you are hoping for soon!

wrightfamily said...

Candace, I think you are amazing. I am already inspired by the meals you fix your family, never ending craftiness, and super cute style. I hope your day is going better.

Amanda said...

((hugs)) It's all about the little changes, don't necessarily give up the "bad" stuff. But slowly add the "good" stuff into your diet. And don't be so hard on yourself. Your body will do it's thing when it's ready. When my hubby came home from Iraq we started trying right away and as you can imagine it was "a lot" of trying haha..I had a miscarriage a few months prior (got preggo when he was home on R&R). So I immediately assumed. Well I can get pregnant in a one shot a year situation why not right when he comes home...It ended up taking about 4 months. While it was hard to wait those months I know that my body was ready at that point and that the baby would be healthy. (she is 4 months old now and perfect). You will get preggo and it will be perfect :)

Jenny said...

That is a hard place to be. Diet or not, I pray that God will give you the strength to be where you are.

Missy said...

Oh Candace. I'm sorry. I'm going through the same thing right now. We've been trying for our second for over a year and had 2 miscarriages since then (the second was the week of the due date of the first). It's no fun.

I agree with Chris about the dairy though. With my first, my doctor told me to eat ice cream every night before bed the week that I ovulate because the extra fat can help the egg. Just keep eating healthy and exercising! It'll happen when it should :)

Elizabeth said...

Dont underestimate positive mental attitude. Its normal to grieve. If you didnt feel this way about the baby you lost, you wouldnt be a real mother. You dont have to stop feeling sad about the baby in order to have another one. Dont expect too much of yourself, perfectly healthy conceptions can take up to a year..even longer. Grieve,but feel positive about the new baby you want to have ... dont be afraid to be pregnant again. Relax (i know its easier said than done) and I really hope it happens soon for you xXx

Candace said...

I am loving this ice cream advice!
Thanks y'all. Also, please don't worry about me. I'm in a good mood. I am happy. It's hard not to be happy with my kids & hubby. I am blessed & I know it.

SING Praises said...

Thanks for your post- I also went through the sickening start-of-period hopelessness last night. :( We've only been trying for 6 months, which I realize isn't that long, but it's still so hard every month when I'm not pregnant. I hadn't really looked into diet beyond cutting alcohol and caffeine. I'm in the same boat as you are with not knowing if i can follow that diet... hang in there, I'm with you!

Clong said...

I've read time and time again that adding maca powder to your diet, only like a teaspoon a day, will get you knocked up right quick:). Maca powder helps the pituitary gland to work more efficiently and regulate hormones. It's also got a lot of minerals and goodness in it so... It's worth a shot.

Kelsey Kim said...

Sorry you're going through that, it took us two years of trying to have our first baby...I think timing is everything...especially remembering it's on Heavenly Father's watch, and not ours. Hindsight is always 20/20.
As far as the diet goes, I've cut pretty much most of the sugar out of my diet, and I feel a lot better, an I've lost close to 15 pounds, so that was an added benefit. Just maybe start by cutting one thing out a day or week, like candy, cookies, cake, whatever your biggest craving is..mine was soda. I am also a chocoholic, but I still eat extra dark chocolate, because there is very little sugar. And I don't eat refined sugars/carbs(or try to minimize them). I think if you allow your self a treat every week, that makes it seem easier, too, so I go out for frozen yogurt or something like that once a week. Good luck!

Jacqueline said...

This might not be the kind of comment you wanted but I want you to know that reading your wrote about trying to have a baby and fertitly etc made me realize I need to be more greatful for the four children I have. I complain about getting pregnant to easily and I believe God used you to show me to count my blessings. Keep your spirits up and Have a positive attitude about whatever comes or does not come. I tell all my friends who can not get pregnant to try hard to relax and not think about it. Find joy in something else great in your life. Some adopt some took up a new hobby and sure enough within months. They are expecting!!!!!! I know that might not be the case for you but know that God is in total control and his wisdom surpasses ours he knows what is best for you. Enjoy the journey may you get receive your hearts desire...

busbyhive said...

Knowing that Heavenly Father is in charge and he knows what's best is something to remember. I do hope you will feel uplifted by those around you. I remember having these same feelings after we lost our first. Please know that someday you'll know why but for now you have to rely on faith. Take Care!

Kate said...

Oh Candace, you know how you wrote that you think we would be friends if we lived closer? Well right now I so wish I could come over, make us some tea and give you a huge hug.
We also miscarried our third pregnancy and it felt like forever until we got pregnant again. I did feel lucky though that we already had two gorgeous girls to adore we already were a family and that I knew my body had done it and could do it again.
I'm not sure I personally believe in these sort of diets but if you need to feel like you are doing something that makes a difference then go for it I say.
Lots of love to you Candace. XX

mel said...

I don't know anything about fertility diets, but I do know the sadness of a miscarriage. My husband and I experienced a loss just a few weeks ago with our second pregnancy. I'm sorry for your pain and your sadness and I'll say a prayer for you.

JMillerFam said...

It is so interesting to read everyone's comments. You know my story. All I will say is God's timing is so perfect. I miscarried on Nov 13 2007 - tried FOREVER to get preggers - finally got preg and was due on Nov 13 2010.

I truly believe God redeemed that dark day and turned it into my 'doa' 'Date of Anticipation'

i am excited about the post you will put out announcing you are pregnant. i know it will happen. I just know it.

Over Yonder said...

I have so been there!! I can look back and like the poster before...see Gods perfect timing. Of course I'm still praying for one more...but I'm almost 39.

Check out this website- fertilethoughts.com it is awesome and the ladies are wonderful. (I'm over there too:)

andrea said...

Oh Candace, you know I understand. I just pray for you and hope so hard that you will soon have that baby you want so badly. I am sure it won't hurt to try, let me know because I am just getting to that point after my miscarriage where (if I ever have a period again) we will start trying. We've also really been talking seriously about adoption. Which I feel really good about. But that's not for everyone.

Lots of love sent your way!!

V and Co. said...

okay so i have 4 and miscarried 2 yeah i did. it sucked big time. so i'm really really truly sorry about your sadness. i know it's hard and i'm so sorry.

prayers and thoughts will be sent your way.
you are so much better than me on the health food seeing that taco bell is where i release my stress.

Amber said...

I'm so sorry. I have been there. I lost identical twins at 9w and had 3 chemical pregnancies. We wound up having to do IVF to have my son after 2.5 years of trying. The sadness of my losses seems to dampen as the years pass, but I don't think May will ever pass without imagining celebrating the birthday of my twins.

As for the diet, it sounds like a PCOS diet to me. Obviously it would be very healthy, but unless you're suffering from PCOS, I wonder how helpful it would really be. (We're not sure if I have PCOS, but my doc put me on the diet on the IVF we were sucessful. Man did I want carbs that first trimester.)

And as someone who understands the complex feelings associated with miscarriage and infertility, I will not tell you to relax or that it will happen in "his" time. Maybe those sentiments are comforting to you, but I understand if you're gritting your teeth through them. I'm holding your hand across cyberspace.

Take care of you.
Amber

holly p said...

I know nothing about fertility diets but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you're feeling sad! Sending lots of love and prayers your way!

sneezerville said...

so sorry to hear about your troubles. my sister miscarried 4 times before having her wonderful little girl. it was devastating to us all each time. we so wished that we could help her out. but she took it all like a trooper and continued on and low and behold her perseverance paid off. so hang in there.

chanel said...

Hey you! Fertility issues, i may have some insight on this topic! I want a phone call, but I understand too. You've probably heard it all from me. It just changes when you're the one dealing with it. I'd go get your blood work done from an OB/GYN before you get yourself convinced you have fertility problems and start changing your diet. The BEST book ever is Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. I think you'd really like it and it explains sooooo much.
When I went to the fertility retreat they said, NO DAIRY, NO SUGAR, NO WHEAT. I honestly don't know. I do believe the less sugar you eat the way better your body works. Dairy and wheat, I think if it hasn't bothered you it probably isn't bothering your reproductive organs.
Above all else, TRUST THE LORD. He sent me to that retreat so I could learn to take care of my body, to listen to it, but He made sure to give me my miracle(s) in a timing that testified HE DID IT. Not my diet, not doctors, not pills- HIM. When you turn to Him and trust His will you will have the peace you so badly need.
HOPEFULLY His will also included me going through everything I did to be a reminder to you, that it WILL HAPPEN. It doesn't get more dreary of a diagnosis than "YOU HAVE NO EGGS and WILL NEVER GET PREGNANT"- and look at me now, 3 kids later! Not a single of one of my miracles came when I thought I needed them, each a huge surprise, 2 of them after enough tears to fill the ocean. But Father in HEaven hears each prayer and will answer you, just give Him all your energy and faith, its THE hardest fertility treatment cause He doesn't actually give you odds or percentages or guarantees. But He does promise you peace and promises to give you what is BEST for you. Another gorgeous Todd baby is such a righteous desire, Im sure it is what is best, He'll just do it at the best time, you'll see. Hang in there- CALL ME! much love!

rachel said...

I've only been reading your blog for a few weeks (it's great), so I don't know the circumstances behind your loss. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I have all sorts of issues with my cycle (spotting from ovulation straight through my period for almost 3 years now, premature labor scare, bedrest for most of my pregnancy, complete placenta abruption with my daughter) and have had chemical pregnancies. I found this: http://www.babyandbump.com/trying-to-conceive/12563-vitamin-b6-lengthen-luteal-phase-increase-progesterone.html a few weeks ago and have decided to give it a try. Basically, what the ladies on the forum have said is that equal amounts of vitamin b6 and b12, found in a b complex vitamin, help to produce a stronger egg, and help increase your luteal phase. Have you been checked for a clotting disorder? Some doctors also prescribe baby asprin to help conceive. You'll have to check with your doctor on that, because it may be dangerous to continue during pregnancy. Sorry if you've tried all of these things already. Lots of luck!

Rachel

Vicki-Lou said...

I, too, feel your pain. I had a miscarriage last May after over a year of trying and finding out his count was very low (almost none there, even!). Now I'm expecting my first in July! I thought, after the miscarriage, I could never be a mother from natural birth, and had my bouts of crying fits because of it. Now I feel overwhelmed by the fact that it is actually happening.
All I can say is to eat a balanced diet. I'm not going to say "don't eat this" or "eat plenty of that" I work in nutrition at a nursing home, but I'm still learning. Sometimes it depends on how active you are, too. Scientifically, though, pinenuts have been proved to boost fertility and the best B12 out there is in red meats (but you only need 3oz of cooked red meat a month). If all else fails, check in with your doctor or advanced nurse practitioner and talk to them about your concerns. Most are very understanding and will run tests if they feel that it is necessary.
Hang in there! I'll be praying for you!

ghislaine said...

Sorry about your loss :(. Btw, I sent you an email. Not sure if you got it.

Ghislaine

Lil said...

I don't think I tell you enough how much I love you. I look up to you so much as a Mom, as a Wife. You are such a good person. I don't think I share enough of myself with you. I just wanted you to know that I think about you- All of your struggles and successes.

Also as a side note- I know of some herbs that help. Wild yam cream, and this women's combination thing. I get them from my aunt. Also I hear it is a lot more likely to take longer the older you get. If you want me to get the herbs for you let me know.

Ylime said...

Have you tried acupuncture? It can really help to get yourself all straightened out and ready for some baby making! :) I also think there are plenty of ways to make yummy desserts that don't involve refined sugars. Changing your diet would probably make a big difference not only in your chances for conceiving, but also in how you perceive your life in general. It might help with the depression and put you in a better frame of mind. I think sometimes that alone is all it takes. Good luck and I hope you get want you need!

Amy said...

Candace,

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I suffered a miscarriage between my two kids and I tried for two years before we had our Emily. I will tell you the two sites that helped me (should you need them)

SaveOnTests- Extremely affordable ovulation and pregnancy test kits. I used these to help determine ovulation.

FertilityFriend.com- This site helped a lot with the charting and I had great forum support.

I also read that cough syrup helps increase your cervical mucus. I don't know if that is an old wive's tale, but I took that when I was ovulating. Now the smell of it makes me want to throw up...but I got my baby girl :)

Love you and hugs to you, sweet friend!! xoxo

Amber said...

I am so sorry that you are going through this! I've had miscarriages and I wouldn't wish them on anyone...but I had a friend in an old ward who told me about wild yams and so I started taking them before I got pregnant with Mylie. If you go to www.naturessunshine.com, you can order some if you're interested.

This next part is from an entry from my blog a while back explaining the wild yams:

I've had some people asking me about the yams...I can't really take credit because my "neighbor" is who knows all about them but I thought I would at least write down what I know from her :)

Go to http://www.naturessunshine.com/ and then pick the Wild Yams, just the plain Wild Yams with 100 capsules. Then you will need to take 2 pills twice a day, I take 2 in the morning and 2 in the afternoon. It's supposed to help regulate your hormones. I am continuing to take them up until about 6 months of pregnancy to help sustain it too (for me, I produce too much estrogen and not enough of the pregnancy hormone and the wild yams are pretty much progesterone and so it leveled it out for me). I was still nervous but with my past miscarriages the babies only lived no more than 7 weeks... I have no idea for sure if the wild yams are why I am having twins (but one either vanished or it was a mirror image on the ultrasound). Usually if you have fraternal twins in your family on your mom's side then you have a greater chance of conceiving twins when on the yams. The lady that told me about them has two sets of fraternal twins...but I didn't take them to have twins just so I wouldn't have to miscarry again :) I hope this makes sense and please if you have any more questions e-mail me benandamber02@gmail.com Hope that helps! Oh and one more thing, if you start taking them and don't get pregnant within 2 months, go off of them for a little while and then continue to try to get pregnant and then you can start taking them again. Hope this helps!

I really honestly think that the Wild Yams have helped me get more balanced :) it's a good way to regulate hormones in women...and I plan on taking them again in the future prior to getting pregnant again. Also my friend knows of something you can take if you think you might be miscarrying again that will either help the pregnancy continue if your body is trying to reject it or help you miscarry if you're supposed to (does that make sense?!), you can e-mail me if you're curious and I'll try to find out what it is, something unicorn...

Again I hope this helps!

I hope that everything turns out just right for you! I don't want to come across as I know it all or that I know what you are going through, because I don't know exactly how you feel but after having miscarriages (I've had 2 for sure and 2 others that I suspect were miscarriages), this seemed to work for me and maybe it could help you too?! Here is a {{{HUG}}} and we will send prayers your way!!! <3

Amanda said...

I miscarried at the same time as you. Then I miscarried again, just a few months ago. I had no problems getting pregnant with my girls, (5 and almost 3) so this was all a shock to me. I more or less follow the diet you mentioned above, and it didn't ever really help me stay pregnant, but getting pregnant hasn't been my issue I guess. I know mine was just the letting go and the stress. It took me a long time to just sort of stop obsessing, tracking, testing, but when I did, I got pregnant. It's such a mental game, which is so unfair, because when you want something, how do you stop wanting it?

Sarah said...

Babies are so wonderful, no wonder we long for them so strongly. They are truly a gift from God.

Just tossing this out - a great website chockful of whole food, vegetarian recipes: 101cookbooks.com. Heidi also has a book called Super Natural Cooking which is a great resource for "powerfoods" and natural replacements for refined sugars.

Best wishes!

Stephanie said...

These are wonderful changes to make...fertility diet or not. I wish you the best of luck in both cases :) Hang in there...it's tough stuff.

O My Word!?! said...

Hi! I just stumbled upon your blog. I am trying to get pregnant, as well, with no luck so far, with my second. I did some research yesterday and have decided to take B6, which is supposed to help, and Vitex (Chaste berry). Those are two natural supplements that are supposed to help your fertility. I am sorry about your loss! I can't imagine what you went through, I am so sorry! THe Lord is good, just trust Him! (I remind myself daily!) I have started my fertility diet today..although I am not doing to well! Good Luck and God Bless!

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