I woke up this morning not understanding why I felt so horrible. Then after going to the bathroom, I realized that I had started my period. Bummer. See it's been a few months since we've stopped trying to prevent a pregnancy & it's been about a year & a half since I miscarried. Yes. It's been that long. Had that baby survived, I would have a one year old right about now. Anyway, back to this morning...
I ended up back in my bed, still feeling tired, trying to get my head around this, trying to figure out how I should be feeling, trying to just ignore it all. I'm in pain. Dylan offers to bring me some ibuprofen. He brings me one of the big ones. A doctor prescribed one. The ones prescribed to me after my D&C. He mentions that it's the last one. Suddenly I'm aware of how long it's been again. I pray to Heavenly Father, asking him to just make me feel numb to the sadness. I don't want to feel the sadness. I wonder if I will ever experience having a baby again. I wonder if this is my life's plan. I wonder if I'm not supposed to have any more children. I think that I should have savored my last pregnancy & baby time more. I can't even remember what it's like to be pregnant. It feels like so long ago. Then I tell myself that I'm over reacting.
I get out of bed & greet the girls & get them ready for the day. Life goes on until I'm reminded again, maybe later today maybe tomorrow.
Last month I looked into fertility diets. I didn't buy any books, but I found this website that spelled it all out.
* Eat lots of organic vegetables & fruit
* Eat less or eliminate dairy products
* Reduce the amount of meat that you eat or only eat organic grass fed meat
* Only eat free range chicken
* Eat only grains in their whole, natural form
* Eat high fiber foods with each meal
* No soy of any form
* No refined sugars or fruit juices
* Drink lots of clean water
I'm not eating meat, so that's not a big deal. I cut out soy a few weeks back. Those parts are easy for me. I do love cheese so dairy can be a little tricky. The part where I know I'll especially struggle is the refined sugars. I love sugars & I have never turned down a cookie or a brownie.
I asked Dylan if he thought I could follow this diet & he immediately responded "no". It made me laugh. It's not that he doesn't have confidence in me. It's just that he knows me. I'm trying to decide if I should attempt a diet like this. Quite frankly, I think this is the ideal diet for health. I want to eat like this. I want to want to eat like this. I like the adjusted food pyramid over here. It makes more sense to me than our current food pyramid.
Anyway, what are your thoughts on a fertility diet? Do you think it makes sense? Can it help? And if so what are some yummy things to eat while on the diet?