Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Finding Some Work At Home Mom Balance


Things felt off for a few weeks. I wasn't feeling super happy. I wasn't feeling super sad either. I just stopped caring about a lot of things. It didn't take long for Dylan & I to talk it out. We had to figure out what was going on. We are partners & in order to continue moving forward toward our goals, we needed to resolve a few things. We said what we wanted to say to each other. We talked it out for a while. We told each other what we needed from the other person. We listed to each others suggestions. And after a while we came to some conclusions. The main being that we needed to spend more focused time with each other.

We had both been really, really busy. For me it was working on product for the etsy shop. Driven by this idea that if I work really, really hard, I can help my family become even happier by earning funds to help pay off debts & pay for some stuff we need, I wanted to really maximize my work time & so I'd immediately make myself stressed out as soon as the kids went to bed. If I sat on the couch to watch a show with Dylan, I would feel guilty that I wasn't cutting fabrics at the same time. It was becoming a bit ridiculous & making me constantly tired.

We decided that I needed to set a schedule. Certain nights of the week would be work nights for me. Even though I'm at home, I could switch my brain to work mode. On those nights I'm on the job. The remaining nights of the week I'm off. On those nights I don't have to even think about shop work. I can spend time with Dylan, work on other chores around the house or just do absolutely nothing.

I'm finding that this concept is working really well. I have more energy. I'm happier. Dylan & I are feeling more connected. Everything is good. Balance has been achieved again. It will get out of whack again soon & we'll pull it back together. It's just the way it goes. But, it feels good to be in a good place for now.

And, I'm so thankful for a husband that values our partnership & our family happiness enough to pray for our well being & to talk it out when needed. I seriously know that we were made for each other & we will forever be best friends.

12 comments:

emilyc @ Sew Super Sweet said...

Thanks SO much for sharing! I have felt this way for a while and just had these EXACT SAME feelings last night!

I think the schedule sounds like a great compromise!

Me? A Mom? said...

I need to get better at having dedicated nights for my relationship with my husband. Most nights we just want to collapse in exhaustion after the kids go to bed! :)

Reece's said...

awesome!!

katkoe said...

sounds really familiar... you're right though a schedule is a great idea :)

Jessica said...

Thanks for posting this. I feel this way at times too. Having a schedule is a great idea. I try and do crafts and things I want while my daughter naps and sometimes I do things at night while my husband studies for school. Thanks for the reminder!

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Stacy said...

i feel like i've been through a similar cycle of stressing out and each time i reboot it seems to get a little better. at least i hope i am learning :)

A. said...

Thanks for this post. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who does the ridiculous self-imposed-deadline thing.

Elisabeth S. said...

Great post! I think most of us Work at Home mom's feel this way! My husband and I's schedules clash since he's on nights and finding that time together can be hard! I'm thankful for a Grandma (Ge-Ge) who watches Grandkids on Thursdays and that my husband and I's day to spend together just us!

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Amanda M. said...

AH! Same here - I have run into this dilemma many times! I definitely can identify with this post. SO glad you have it all worked out with this great schedule! :)

Jessie said...

My husband and I had a very similar talk the other night. As always, good to know I'm not alone!

Domestically Sassy said...

Love those understanding husbands....got one myself! :)

Work at Home said...

There is nothing more worthwhile than being with your loved ones while keeping yourself busy at the same time earning at home.

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